David Ortiz's Book, Papi, Is A Huge Strikeout

Photo: from the book's Goodreads page, here.

Very disappointing book, more notable for the stuff he leaves out than for what he puts in. This is mostly a gripe session, with a surprising number of motherf---er bombs, considering his younger fanbase. If you want to read about what a motherf---er former Sox GM Theo Epstein was while they talked contracts, and about how much of a motherf---er Twins manager Tom Kelly was all the time, and about how much confidence he has in himself, which is necessary because everyone will disrespect you and you have to defend yourself and tell them who you really are, then this book is for you. He even takes a few stabs at Terry Francona, who he never respected again after Tito pinch-hit for him in Toronto three or four years ago. Yet wasn't he hitting about .220 at the time?

But I'd been hoping instead for a bit more about 2004, about the postseason. Those were covered in a few short pages. Or about 2007, and Curt Schilling's bloody sock, or something about J.D. Drew or Josh Beckett or, hell, anything at all about any of the more important games that year? Maybe something about Youkilis, who nobody remembers anymore. How about how Colorado finished the season 22-1 and then got swept in the World Series? Nope. Maybe 2013? How about some stories about Jonny Gomes, or Napoli, or anyone else? What about that ALCS against the Tigers, when Ortiz hit the season's most important homerun, before Napoli hit his against Verlander in that 1-0 game? How about how the Sox hit maybe the Mendoza line combined for the series, yet won it in 6 games? How about anything at all about Uehara? Maybe the World Series, which had a game that ended with a runner picked off third and was followed by a game that ended with a runner picked off first. Nope. Maybe a paragraph apiece, and nothing at all about any of the specific ALCS or World Series games. Not even anything about his World Series game-winning hits, except that he hit them, and who he hit them off. No commentary; no in-depth analysis, nothing. He proves he had a helluva memory for who threw what to him months ago, which he'd then look for months later, but that's it.

You get a really short chapter about what a butthole Bobby Valentine was, which I already knew, and I detested him then and now and for that whole year. Valentine was a baseball version of Trump, and it's no surprise to me at all that they're actually friends--if either guy can be said to have a friend, as opposed to a mutual, leech-like attraction. But there's nothing new here at all. The few things that may be news to some, like how his marriage almost fell apart, is never given specifics. I'm not expecting The Inquirer here, but give me something. Didn't get it.

I'm telling you, this book is at least 75% about how he was disrespected by contracts and PED accusations. He never mentions HGH, of course, and he never gave honest accolades to people he trashed, like Francona and Epstein. It all comes across as very bitter grapes from someone you might think doesn't have much to be bitter about. He has a few decent points that non-Sox fans may not know, like how the Sox underpays its stars (Pedroia notoriously got a home-discount contract that this book never mentions; Pedroia is more underpaid now than Ortiz ever was, dollar for dollar) and yet overpays its free agent signings--like Pablo Sandoval and Hanley Ramirez. And Carl Crawford. And Julio Lugo. And Edgar Renteria. And Rusney Castillo. You knew this already as a fan, but the sheer number of examples is staggering. Yet even this is harped on again and again, its repetition taking up space you wanted reserved for funny or interesting anecdotes about some players. Hell, how about Orsillo, or Remy, or Castig? How about how he was able to have the single-best last season of any hitter in history? How about any stories at all about fans he's spoken to over the years, especially in 2013? How about something besides how much of goofball and great hitter Manny Ramirez was? Or something about Pedro besides how smart and great a pitcher he was?

Nope. You get a chapter about his charity, but nothing about other players' charities. Very disappointing. Ortiz was one of my favorite players, and still is, but as a baseball memoirist, he swings and misses. This book is truly a money-making grab off his retirement. Even non-Sox fans won't learn anything new here, which is a mystery because it's clearly written for a common Sox fan. And believe me, I'm no baseball prude, but the loud volume of motherf---ers and other punches and jibes is shocking, considering he has to know that kids and pre-teens will want to read this. But, Dads out there, beware: They probably shouldn't. Also shocking because it's otherwise such a light read, you'd think it was meant for a light (ie--young and/or new) fan. The diatribes and whining don't make it any less light, so it's essentially a fluff piece with a lot of whining, swears and overall negativity.

Shockingly disappointing.

"The Saddest Dog in the World"--Read On for Happier Ending

Before I show the picture, know that the dog is out of the shelter now, and is happier and doing much better, but still only in a temporary foster home.  As of this writing, she's still looking for her "forever home."

Photo: © Courtesy: Rescue Dogs Match via www.rescuedogsmatch.com The picture of Lana that went viral as the 'Saddest dog in the world'.

For the video, go to this address from msn.com

Excerpted from the msn.com article, until the drawn line:

Lana, also known as the "saddest dog in the world", is currently in a foster home waiting for her forever home thanks to an outpouring of support after her story went viral. 

The one-and-a-half-year lab mix is a foster dog with Rescue Dogs Match. She originally arrived in Toronto, Canada, when she was a puppy. 

Recently, Lana was returned to Rescue Dogs Match, a volunteer organization, after it did not work out with the family who took her in at five-and-a-half months old.

Mighty Mutts, which trains dogs, posted on Facebook that Lana had some guarding issues that were worked on when she was a puppy. "However, a year later she is exhibiting those guarding behaviors around food with people she is not completely familiar with," Mighty Mutts posted. 

Although her guarding issues were "non-existent when she was adopted," they began to surface, Mighty Mutts added on Facebook. 

"Because there were children in the family it was decided that it would be best for Lana to come back to our rescue so that we could find an adult only home with an experienced handler," Mighty Mutts wrote on Facebook.  [Go to this site to learn about these awesome people, and the godly work they do to save animals.]

Upon her return, a photo was taken of Lana and shared on Facebook of the dog appearing despondent, with her head down, leaning against the wall in a boarding kennel.  

Mighty Mutts posted that she would only come out of her kennel for two people. "She just shut down," Dahlia Ayoub, owner of Mighty Mutts and a volunteer dog program coordinator for Rescue Dogs Match, told The Dodo. "It's almost like her world shut down." 

She remained unresponsive for a day, The Dodo reported. No one could move her to go for a walk. 

__________________

But this is Lana, "The Unhappiest Dog in the World," now:

[Me, now.]  Lana is currently in a temporary foster home and is working with Mighty Mutts Training to fix her guarding issues.  (This means she gets testy when she's eating because she had to defend her food against 12 other dogs when she was younger.)  She'll soon be ready for adoption to a "furever" home--someone who can take her permanently.  

Well, I'll just show you the updated Facebook message, taken from the Mighty Mutts Dog Training Facebook page: 

For now, Lana will continue to stay with her foster mom. This week, she will begin her strict training regime to correct her guarding issues with Mighty Mutts Training. Lana came from a terrible place as a tiny pup. She had to compete with 13 other pups for food. Although her guarding behaviours were non-existent when she was adopted, they did recently come back. We know she will do well with her training because she is, after-all, such a sweet and smart young girl. Mighty Mutts already has a plan of action for Lana's training and is confident that she will soon be ready for adoption.

We, again, want to thank everyone for their offer to help Lana. If you were touched by Lana's story and are not located in Ontario, Canada but would like to help, PLEASE check out your local shelter/rescues or trywww.petfinder.com . There are so many Lana's out there waiting for their big break. Lana is just one of millions of homeless animals that long for a family that will love them. If you are located within Ontario and interested in adopting Lana, please pop us an email to complete an application at info@mightymutt.ca

We will be looking for a home for Lana with the following requirements:

Lana is a timid girl in unknown environments. When she is with people she knows and trusts, she is silly and sweet. Lana is great left alone, good with other animals (cats & dogs), however, she may exhibit guarding behaviours around food with other animals. She loves to go hiking and is very good on a leash. The perfect home for Lana would be with one or two people who are experienced with guarding behaviours. No children. A quiet, routine home is a must. More to follow as we continue to work with Lana.

If you would like to make a donation so that we can continue to help dogs Like Lana, please click on this link (the amount raised is an accumulation of donations starting from January 2015):

https://www.gofundme.com/754zok

Please share Lana's story and help other dogs like Lana find their furever home!

[Me, again.]  I'm the super-proud owner of a saved greyhound--who just turned 13 on Halloween!!!  Happy Birthday, Jackson!!!

But I digress...There are a ton of dogs and other animals out there who need help. Lana, for example: think of what she went through to go from Mexico, where she was born, to a place that saved her in Canada.  The video said she's been with other people but saved from them, too!  Then she was at her last place for a year, and (perhaps understandably, since kids, other animals, and food guarding issues were involved) had to be sent back.  She's been sent back and forth so many times!  She must feel so unwanted and unloved!  So I saw this story, and the photo (Doesn't she look so hopeless and depressed?) and I decided I'd post the whole story and pass it on to my readers.

Please consider donating to the program that saves these animals and always, always, always takes them back.  Animals like her are at least saved for life, and are not put down or caged, or treated inhumanely. (I donate a lot to the ASPCA, who also do angelic work.)  Or consider going to your local shelter and adopting a pet there.  Adopting Jackson the Greyhound is literally one of the best things I've ever done, for too many reasons to go into.

If you live in Ontario, Canada, please consider adopting Lana when she is ready.

Please share this story on your blog, Facebook, Instagram, etc.  Your reader could be the one to help this dog.

Thank you.