The Retirement of Adam LaRoche

Photo: from his Wikipedia page. Or, this is Adam LaRoche, running from his responsibilities.

Please bear with me here, even if you don't like baseball, because this really isn't a baseball entry. For those who don't know, Adam LaRoche, part-time first baseman for the Chicago White Sox, and a player due to earn $13 million this year to mostly sit on the bench, suddenly retired and forfeited said $13 million when he was told that he could not bring his 14-year old son to the locker room and to the clubhouse for every single game. This has been his MO for each of his past 11 major league seasons.

--Read Justin Gorman's short article about Adam Laroche's sudden retirement here, at the Sons of Sam Horn page. I couldn't agree more. Brilliant move by Executive Vice President (and former GM) Ken Williams, if it was indeed planned. Had LaRoche stayed, the White Sox would've had to pay $13 million for the honor of having LaRoche ride the bench with his son beside him, and at most LaRoche would've come in as a defensive replacement in the later innings. The South Siders thought so much of LaRoche that they've given him five Spring Training at-bats. In 2009, the Red Sox traded two prospects for him, but had him for all of 6 games and 19 ABs, before they decided they'd rather have Casey Kotchman. And the Nationals were so pleased with his 26 homers and 92 RBIs last year that they bought out his option for $2 million. Williams said, "In what other business can you bring your son to work every single day?" and he's right. Now the Pale Hose have $13 million in their pockets, and two lockers for more deserving bodies.

--Yes, that's right. Two lockers. The son was there so often that he got his own locker. The kid must've been there longer than many minor leaguers, some prospects, and a few veterans.

--And I don't care what Chris Sale says. So Williams went back on his verbal agreement about the kid from last year. If LaRoche hadn't been paid $12 million just to barely hit above the Mendoza Line, maybe this wouldn't be an issue. (Though Williams never should've agreed to that to begin with.)

--Then again, he never should've signed LaRoche to begin with.

--My guess is that Gorman was right: Ken Williams wanted to get rid of this contract, and he knew the button to push. I say, good for him.

--This is all about one word: Entitlement.

--Now, because I can't say it any better than this, I offer you, off her social media, the sage wisdom of Bethany Randa, wife of former major league third baseman Joe Randa:

“I’ve gotten so many messages about what a wonderful thing it is that Adam retired for his son ... and yes, my boys spent time in the clubhouse when it was approved and appropriate and loved every minute of it!!! My concern is and ALWAYS has been that these kids already live a privileged life, where rules don’t always apply, where ridiculous money just pours in, where so many of the things we could afford were free, and where we were offered immediate seating at restaurants and other events ahead of hard working people who were there before us. My boys saw this. It sounds ridiculous to most people, but our job is to raise dependable hard working and respectful men. It’s hard enough in the world they see, but to teach your child that when your boss makes a decision you don’t agree with, you just 'retire'?? In the REAL world, that’s not an option.’’

Jerry Maguire

photo: from the movie's Wikipedia site

One of my favorite movies, it's gotten stuck in my mental flypaper recently, for reasons that I couldn't even begin to tell you.  But the good thing about being a writer who writes a lot is that I am used to unabashedly getting my thoughts down and throwing them out there, even if said thoughts won't light up the world--or bring it down.  They're not important, but here they are anyway:

--It's occurred to me lately that one of the odd things about the movie is that Jerry Maguire is a complete orphan.  This would have been a great point to show in the movie, which, after all, is a warning against materialism, working too much to the sacrifice of personal contentment, and working at being a complete person--in other words, about relationships.  It was established that he was bad at relationships, but only with women.  He was afraid of commitment.  But what about his parents?  Maybe a cousin somewhere?  And why didn't he have a kid by his age (he's 35)--and with his money and opportunity.  He couldn't even father a mistake?  Anyway, this would have been a great point for the movie to quickly emphasize, even if it's just one line.  If he had a family, for example, he might not have been so desperate to make money.  Which brings me to--

--It is inconceivable that a sports agent of Jerry Maguire's calibre would not land on his feet quickly with another agency.  The movie clearly isn't about that--it's about fewer clients, after all--but Maguire doesn't ever seem to even have the thought.  Another super-agency like the one he left would have snatched him up immediately.  There are a lot of those.  Furthermore, at the very least, other young and hungry sharks would have wanted to leech onto him when he formed his own company.  This happens all the time, even in the literary agent world.  They go from agency to agency all the time, often climbing higher and higher--or just starting their own, where other less-experienced agents would join them.

--A real Jerry Maguire would never have left Cushman unsigned.  Again, I know the movie is anti-corporate, anti-contract, etc.--but, still, the #1 draft pick in the whole country is not left unsigned.  Once he's eligible for the draft, agent-barracudas would be all over him.  In fact, swarmy agents are latched onto this guy before he even graduates college--they just can't legally announce it and date the contract until after he's eligible.  Like, a few seconds after he's eligible.  I can't imagine Scott Boras getting by with just a handshake with the father of the #1 draft pick.  For those who don't know, #1 picks get signed to long contracts worth millions of dollars, often tens of millions if they're obviously great right away.  And the agent usually makes 15% to 20% of that.  So if the #1 pick gets signed to a three-year, ten million dollar contract--which is pennies these days--the agent will make one- to one-point-five million dollars of that.  Which is why a handshake the night before the draft simply would never do--not even for an nontraditional, anti-corporate guy like Jerry Maguire.

--Thinking again of the orphan theme, or at least of someone being parent-less, Ray, the little boy, of course lost his father.  Cushman's mother is never seen, or mentioned.  Dorothy has her sister, Laurel, but neither ever mentions their parents.  Jerry Maguire has nobody at all, and mentions his mentor more than he ever mentions any parents.  The agency is definitely his family--which of course was part of his existential mess.  In fact, the most respected guy, in terms of family and relationships, is Rod Tidwell--who has a large family, but no friends, not even on his team.  For these athletes, their teammates are often just as much of a family--if not more--than their actual family.  But not for him.  Everybody, in some way, was off-balance with some kind of relationship.

--The AFI says Jerry Maguire is the tenth-best sports film ever.  I haven't seen the list, but I assume Field of Dreams, The Bad News Bears, The Natural, Major League, Rocky, Raging Bull, a football film from the 70s that I'm forgetting, with Burt Reynolds, and...What else?  Wasn't there a famous boxing movie from the 40s or 50s, The Quiet American, or something like that?  Moneyball, if the list is recent.  Bull Durham, of course.  That's ten, so one of these, or more, aren't in the top ten.  Okay, I'll take a look at the list now.  Wait, before I do, Chariots of Fire.  Oh, and The Karate Kid (the original, of course).  Now I can't find it.  Wait, here it is.  80s purists beware.