Monday, January 14, 2013

Golden Globes

Photo: The Golden Globe

A few quick things about the [see title]:

--Yes, I can be a big fan of football games and yet still watch the Golden Globes.  (In fact, I was told recently that I know the sport perhaps a little too well.)  One of my favorite high school memories is about when I tackled someone so hard and so immediately after the catch, that he literally said, "What hit me?"  And I actually replied, "I did."  Don't judge.

--Someone needs to make sure Mel Gibson didn't have a stroke at the Golden Globes.

--Maybe he was stunned at Jodie Foster's speech?  I mean, he knew they were always going to be just friends, right?

--Anne Hathaway's comments about Sally Field were tremendously classy.  Field wouldn't have had better things said about her if she'd actually won the award for her role in Lincoln.

--I want to look as good as Jodie Foster does when I'm fifty.  And I don't want to have to spend any money or to have any procedures to do it.  Hey, it can happen.

--Sofia Vergara's Diet Pepsi ad ran maybe 27,000 times during the broadcast.  Not that that's a bad thing.

--Michael J. Fox's kid looked like Michael J. Fox playing Marty McFly's kid in the second Back to the Future, if you follow me.  You know, when his coat's sleeves extended past his hands and his voice was so high and cracking that only dogs could hear it?

--Mel Gibson and Tommy Lee Jones had the most memorable faces of the night.  I'll bet Mel hasn't risen from the chair yet, or closed his mouth.  And I'll bet Jones still looks like he's just bitten somebody's face off.

--Jodie Foster managed to exude class even while she was babbling and verbally floundering about.  And her speech ended very, very well.  And I'm sorry to hear her mother has dementia.  Been there.  Not fun.

--The Globes' director very wisely put Selma Hayek on camera as often as possible.  She appeared almost as often as Sofia Vergara's commercial.  Incidentally, I love saying Sofia Vergara's name, though I'm sure I'm butchering it and my accent is way off.

--I don't care too much about who wins or loses at these things, though I still haven't gotten over Saving Private Ryan's Best Picture Oscar loss.

--I never heard of Jessica Chastain before Terrence Malick's Tree of Life (which Ebert said recently was the best picture of all time, from any country) a few years ago, and now she's in everything.  Loved her speech, too, when she said that she'd been an also-ran and behind the scenes for so long, she can't believe she's made it.  Gives ya hope, ya know?

--Though the comment about torture and being married to James Cameron was funny, I'm getting very tired of people saying whatever they want about whoever they want, especially when that person isn't there to respond.  Maybe Cameron is as much of a jerk as everyone says, but that doesn't mean he deserves to be called that on camera to literally billions of people throughout the world.  Just because you can, that doesn't mean you should.

--Bill Murray looked like he'd just stepped out of a Dickens novel.  Maybe he's shooting such a movie?

--The most courageous thing Jodie Foster said was how incredibly lonely she sometimes is.  (I mean, we all knew the other thing, right?)  Read a full transcript of her speech from here.

--Quentin Tarantino very suddenly got big.  (Read my review of Django Unchained here.)

--The Globes are always very amusing, but does absolutely everyone have to get plastered?


  1. I'm still giggling at the thought of Mel Gibson possibly being so shocked at all those years wasted holding a torch for Jodie Foster. Seriously, I do hope he's okay.

    And would the show be as amusing without them all getting plastered? It's what sets it apart from the more uptight and fuddy duddy Oscars.

    I'd like to add a congrats to Ben Affleck and his awesome wife who thanked a few more people on his behalf.

    1. I can still see him sitting there, as plastered as my parlor walls, his mouth still agape, as it slowly dawned on him that...

      But then Tommy Lee Jones growls that if he doesn't close his damn mouth and leave, he'll rip his face off.

  2. Sorry - I don't watch award shows - unless The Who or Metallica is playing because that's so out of whack. But really? The Road Warrior carrying a torch for Clarice? Now I gotta try to see this on YouTube!

    1. Definitely check out his open-mouthed zombie stare. It was like a couple of neurons just shut down, and he forgot how to shut his mouth. But we knew that from his anti-Semitic and anti-women rants already.

  3. I so seriously didn't know. And my IQ isn't in the double digits. Ew, now I feel like Mel Gibson. NOT good. I loved your "most memorable faces". I was disappointed that Jones looked so uncouth. Nice piece. Thanks.

    1. Someone told me recently that the problem wasn't Mel Gibson's mouth unhinging like that, and staying so far open for so long--it's the anti-Semitic and anti-female stuff that comes out of it. Glad you liked the post. Thanks for commenting!